Enough about me

Society today

2008-10-14T15:03:00.000-07:00

It is funny when I am driving along or just listening and watching other people how different people seem now compared to only a couple of years ago. The level of happiness and patience seems to have been lowered and no longer does it seem that we think about the consequences of our actions or what it really means to us when we do things. I watched on the news this morning that the current generation of young drivers have a 30x risk of dying in a car accident than those of use 25 or above. Although this disturbed me it actually got me thinking the reason why. I don't believe that this has anything to do with the younger generation but more to do with the way society is heading. No longer can you walk into a retail outlet and just expect to get a high level of customer service, no longer can you expect that people will not jump the lights or drive at the required speed. It seems that as a society we no longer want to help others or listen to the needs of others before putting ourselves first. It is the same in organisations - no longer are we working for a career and being developed by our managers but we are working to get a job done and contribute only to the bottom line.

I am going to continue to look into this and the impact that our changing attitudes are having on our day to day lives as I believe that through awareness we may be able to improve our quality of life.

Acknowledgement

2007-11-06T03:39:00.001-08:00

It is amazing to me, that when we sit back and look at how we acknowledge people it becomes obvious that we very rarely do it. Although acknowledgement is a very strong tool to use in all situations, we always forget to appreciate things that we see and are part of each day.
Working for an organisation that delivers performance programs it is apparent to me how much people want to acknowledge others and how powerful they realise it is as a tool but amazingly internally, acknowledgement for success or gratefulness is rare and although we have our own reward program to acknowledge people it is not commonly used. Having looked closely at the reason for this it is because we rely on other people to assess the acknowledgement - someone who is not normally a part of the reason for the acknowledgement but someone however that is responsible to approve the acknowledgement. I believe this is a core problem in our society today. If everyone felt comfortable with acknowledging others and did not believe that an external party was required to assess or further acknowledge this then we would be more comfortable putting forward acknowledgements. It is apparent in the hierachical society that we have today that we are always relying on someone further up the tree approving what we are thinking or witnessing however, if we were just happy to say thankyou or well done to someone because we believe they deserve it and they then appreciate it purely because they deserve this and do not have to wait for someone else to put a worth on this acknowledgement then we would be further ahead with the process than we are today.
We should continue to thank and show gratitude for the things that others do for us all the time as once we start we continue to feel the success from giving acknowledgement it will start to come in our direction from others wanting to acknowledge us.

2007-09-18T03:16:00.000-07:00

It is funny when we let things build up on us we end up snapping for no reason when we finally lose control. There is no reason for us to bottle things up apart from the confidence that we lack in being able to face these things at the beginning.

I have a large problem being able to control my anger when I let things get to me. Little things start to take over and regardless how many times I tell myself I am being silly I still have trouble snapping out of it. At this stage I start to feel that I have lost control and can no longer see things as they truly are but start to adopt the victim mentality. For this reason I start to find everything hard to deal with.

I know it is silly and I know really I should not worry about it. I feel like a half way house for the moment but I know people will all be gone in 2 weeks, I feel that people are taking advantage of my niceness but again is it really that I let them because I am too scared to tell them otherwise in case I upset them? I believe all of this comes down to not understaning how to explain myself with confidence. People want to see me and be with me I should appreciate that, yes I am really busy at the moment but this is choice and in the long run this is worth it. I need to take control of myself and keep telling myself not to worry about what will happen but work on making what I want to happen. Understand that I have the control and realise that it really is not much of an issue. Learn to let go and not let them get to me would be the best answer and keep reminding myself - does this really matter??

If I look at things realistically, the answer is NO and just remember to remind myself that I need to enjoy my life.

Stretching thin

2007-08-23T03:59:00.000-07:00

It is funny how life moves so fast past us but nothing ever seems to get done!!! I have so many goals at the moment but each day things just get moved to the next day....at the moment I just cannot seem to see the end of the tunnel.

Life is like that though.

Every day we wake should be taken as a blessing and for this reason I should really not be complaining. However, why am I always feeling like my goals are just too far out of my reach. It is funny, when I started training in the International Coaching Academy I was a little lost. I knew I did not want to work in my existing profession full time but I did not know what I wanted to do, I also knew that I wanted to build my resume service as this was something that I enjoyed doing but I really had no idea how and finally I also knew that I wanted to become a coach but was petrified of taking this step. Finally a friend pushed me into making my decision and that was WHY JUST NOT DO IT ALL!!! I listened and here I am.

Here is where I outline why I am titling this blog as stretching thin. Thanks to the motivation that I have found in starting to follow my own goals - I have never been so busy. From working a standard working hour, then training an hour at night and then picking up customers for a couple of hours I am starting to look forward to my next long holiday....however I have never felt this much energy before. Yes I get tired but I can still find the time to do everything that I want to and then plan the things that I cannot do.

I found a great quote recently taken from Captain Andy of the love boat: " The lucky folks are the ones that get to do things they enjoy doing. Such folks are lucky because they have more energy, more happiness, less worry and less fatigue. Where your interests are, your energy is also. Walking 10 blocks with a nagging wife or husband can be more fatiguing than walking 10 miles with a sweetheart"

This is so true and this is now where I place my mind when I wonder where I am getting all this energy from. My heart is now directing my mind and for this reason I am lucky. I am lucky that I can follow my heart and I am lucky that I have reached the point in my life that I am comfortable enough with myself to be able to set my own goals and know I have a plan to keep them.

If there is 1 thing that I have learnt in the last 6 months that would be something I would like to leave you with is this, people who place themselves in action will be guaranteed to achieve something, those that wait for a better time will never find that better time.

Frustration

2007-07-24T03:38:00.000-07:00

It is amazing how life is like a roller coaster that you never seem to be able to control the direction. Each morning when we wake up we follow the same routine, we go to work or we do our normal routine running around then slowly the day wears on until night takes over again and then we start again the next day.

When do we really sit back and say what have I achieved for myself today, how has this made me a better person or how have I helped others make their life a better life.

My frustration stems from why can we not find the time to do this and why is this not the way that we should be living our lives? We always wake up wanting to do better for ourselves and for others, even those that seem to not wanting to do this but their underlying commitment to themselves if you look deep enough may actually be that they are doing it to make their life a better life or to do something for others.

It just seems to me that regardless of what we are really do is never achieving what we really want to achieve - we are always wanting something better and when we achieve that we want something else. But really - why can we not just accept and be happy with what we are at and just strive to get to where we would like to be rather than constantly pressuring ourselves to achieve something better?

Getting on top of it all

2007-07-16T18:27:00.000-07:00

It is funny isnt it - you get 2 weeks off for holidays and you have great plans, great ideas and yet life just seems to get even busier over this time!!! During the break from classes I had some great ideas to organise my timetable, update my blogs, put together my welcome pack, start on my website etc etc etc but I seem to have achieved nothing. Only today I have been able to sit and look at the classes but this has still only been for a couple of weeks of planning. Why is it that when you think you have a free moment everything just takes control? Is it that we are losing control or that we step back from things and take a bit of a more relaxed approach only to find we lose our time management skills.

I have high hopes for myself and my plans but just cannot seem to find the time to sit down and really plan them. I worry that I am not achieving everything that I should because I cannot sit down and focus on 1 thing, I get concerned that I am missing something as there never seems to be much homework and then I worry that I am not getting enough done around the house that the husband might start to feel a bit hard done by.

If only I did not worry I am sure that this would be so much easier!!!! Wish my luck to get back my time and maybe then I can start to really see things happening!

Starting my coaching practice

2007-06-20T04:20:00.001-07:00

The time has now come to look at where I am going and start to set my own goals for my practice. To do this I need to start with the following:
1. By the end of 6 months there are 3 goals I wish to have.
1 - 3 paying clients. This to me will allow me to see that I have achieved something tangible.
2 - marketing plan in place - I not only want to have the marketing plan in place but I want to be using it.
3 - A long term plan for the products and services that I want to offer. This may take the place of a business plan or just a product specification.
What business structure do I want - I want my business structure to be simple and to just involve myself in the medium term. Future opportunities for growth will come as I identify other services and products.
What revenue target - well we all want to be rich but I will settle for 60 - 80K per year in the practice on my own.
Graduation - I plan on graduating by mid next year, this will be dependant on when I decide to start a family but should not blow this out too much.

It is in my nature to set a milestone so in 3 months I would like to be able to measure the above by the number of enquiries I can answer about a coach and what coaching does for people.

My 3 biggest barriers and fears about becoming a coach or starting a practice is stepping outside of my comfort zone - doing something that a lot of people are not necessarily aware of or understand. Working for myself - this is a big step going from a steady income to an unknown income. This is always a concern for a small business but it is something that I am hoping to overcome. Not being recognised - this is a large concern for me as I am not sure how many people can judge their success with a coach. I would like to be able to make all of my clients see what they have achieved but sometimes this is not tangible.

This entry will be my measuring tool - I will refer back to this regularly until in 3 months I hope to be able to tell you where I am at.

Hope you all have your fingers crossed for me :)

Thought of the day

2007-06-14T05:33:00.000-07:00

Dreaming is the abillity to understand what we want, know what we deserve and ultimately set a goal we can achieve.

A coach is your partner to achieve that dream.

Peer Coaching

2007-06-13T04:45:00.000-07:00

I am proud to say that I started with a peer coach last night. I must say that having never been coached before - always having been the coach. I found this a very fulfilling and 1 hour well spent. It is amazing how a conversation with a coach makes you feel, the way a coach makes you think and how they are able to boost your confidence whilst just talking with you. I do hope my own clients feel the same way after a session with me.

I am not setting too many goals with my peer coach as yet as I want to work on building the relationship to be able to understand the relationship from a coachees perspective - I believe however in the next couple of weeks the sessions could become very goal focussed.

I am following my own motto and "Preparing for success".

Taking it home

2007-06-06T21:28:00.000-07:00

So, let me start this by asking a question that I have been searching for the answer for a long time - how do we take our skills that we can use so well with clients to our home? I would be lying to say that I thought I was even close to how to solve this problem as I seem to let it control me all the time. I never have a problem putting my coaching hat on and providing feedback and advice to people that I have a friendship and connection with but as soon as it comes to my family and people that I want to protect forever I turn into a raving lunatic trying to make them see my opinion or hear my suggestions - problem is I only ever end up getting angrier at myself in the situation so I cannot return to a civilised coach. (You can imagine an octopus in a bucket here!)

It would be great if I could learn how to give myself the opportunity to take that breath first or think about what I am saying but the emotion takes control of my brain and that is the end of it - even if the other person has no interest in what I am saying I am unable to stop. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but why does it always have to come to me when it is too late? The problem then is I start to build the what if scenario in my mind. What if I said too much, what if now they take the complete opposite to my advice and it effects them and then I start to blame myself for causing this now world ending scenario that I have built in my head and that I may as well give up now because unless I can coach at home then why be a hypocrite and help others through it! If I want to make it worse I can build the scenario now that the world is against me and that I should just try not to care and then maybe there would never be a problem and then I would not hurt myself because this is all that I ever end up doing.

The reality is that I do care but sometimes too much. I know my intentions are right - I never want anyone to have to face some of the things that I have had to in my life but is trying to protect them forever and make them not map out their own life going to help? I know the answer is no because how do you grow if you never get to venture out and find your own comfort zone or learn what is a right or wrong decision or even just one that should be thought about with a little more information. No one can supply a right or wrong answer for someones life decisions nor does anyone have the right to turn to you and say that you have made the wrong decisions and you will suffer from that because the reality is that there is never any suffering unless you force yourself to feel that way - but there is definitely always the ability to learn for next time. ( I accept that there are exceptions to this!)

Without kidding myself I have to admit that I will never be able to stop caring and wanting to protect my family and friends as I believe they deserve to be protected but sometimes I need to hide this part of me and remove the emotion from my advice. Everyone knows that if they need something that I will always be there regardless of when and where but I also need to be prepared to let them learn for themselves and when I provide that advice ask if I can first, ask if they are happy to hear it and never just make them want to hear it. Guide them rather direct them but most of all never just suspect they want to hear it.

I think I feel better now.

Still starting

2007-06-04T23:15:00.000-07:00

Well, I have not achieved much more this week beyond the planning for the course and the business ideas. I have placed a simple page on my website www.rsrconsulting.com.au about career coaching but I am still working through what I really want to say so that I can sell me as a coach as well as our service offering. There are a lot of coaches out there but I am hoping that my passion for what I do will set me aside from the rest. I am not in it for the money but for the smile on someone's face when they achieve that little something that they never believed they could. Wish me luck!

I have 2 classes that I have scheduled in for this week but I will be aiming on picking up some more once I get use to it as I really enjoyed the first one. I am hoping that through the effective feedback that I am researching I will be able to achieve more with my project team in the coming weeks - if you ever want an interesting set of personalities to coach developers for IT are a good start! I am sure that their hearts are always in the best place.

I am planning on doing more tonight in relation to my website and also try and jump ahead with my reading. I want to stay on top of it all and ensure that my homework is just as it should be! So far so good.

Anyway, I will be back in a couple of days to let you know how I have gone with the classes and the update of the website. If anyone reads this and has a look at the site as it stands please feel comfortable to give me feedback I am happy to receive all comments and suggestions as it all helps.

Bek :)

Enough about me

2007-05-30T05:19:00.000-07:00

Hi there, welcome to my blog page. I have never attempted anything like this before, even though I am classed as an IT nerd!. As of today I have started training to become a coach. I signed up on Monday with the International Coaching Academy and have felt both nerves and anticipation which are still with me whilst I write this blog.

I attended my first class tonight - FC103 Effective Feedback. I believe I learnt a lot from it but I also am well aware of the long road ahead of me. Everything that was address will definitely be part of the coaching practice that I wish to develop so I want everything to be right - even my level of patience with myself.

The course requires us to keep a regular blog which will be used as part of our graduation assessment. The approach I believe is for us to be able to look back at where we have been and where we are to assist in being effective coaches in whatever path we choose. I have never excelled in writing so starting this and the initial maintenance I know will be a challenge but setting reminders in my trusty PDA should help. (See I am an IT nerd!)

As this is my first post I do not want to dwell too much on the maybes but more on my goals. My goal is to begin coaching and to be successful at it. Coaching others has always been a factor of my life without me even realising it - the simple assistance in helping others make career decisions or asking for a raise appear more often than not. I am hoping the course will teach me how to handle myself in all situations and with all people - I never want to appear dictatorial or harsh as a coach and I know that will be a focus of my training.

I am hoping to set up my practice soon with a few pro bono clients as well as some 'real' clients but i have a lot to do until this point. I am hoping to pick a name very soon and also start looking at designing my webpage - all integral to selling me!

I am hoping that you will all grow with my on my journey and take the time to follow my wins and losses and also my confusion and challenges!

Welcome to my blog!